E X P L O D E
by midnightwriter1898
Summary: In which Mitchie writes Shane a heartfelt letter... For LaPagie's 101 prompt. #7-Sadness... Now a series of letters.
1. Sadness

_**A.N: So, I wrote this letter for some of my so-called "friends" (ex ex EX friends, that is) that have been nothing but horrible to me for the past year since I stopped talking to them. This is really, really, REALLY personal and I wasn't really focusing 100% on grammar or making sense, I just needed to express myself. And I kind of wish they'd read it someday, even though I know they won't :( Just be warned, there is one swear word *just the D word, though*. Anyways, I think I'm going to make this Smitchie, at first it was gonna be Naitlyn but I decided against it. Anyway, enjoy, and please no flames :( P.S, I changed some things, like how they met and where they moved down from and how he's her boyfriend and all, so that it would fit Smitchie. So, not all of this was in the original letter (the person I was writing to was a girl, anyways... lol), just so you guys know that. Anyhoo... ENJOY!**_

**_Disclaimer: Yes, the letter, and my feelings are mine. Want them? But of course I don't own Camp Rock :(_**

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_Shane,_

_I bet you're wondering why I'm writing this, when you'll never even see it. I don't know, I just need to get my emotions out for once, and not in the form of another heartbroken poem. I'm kind of sick of writing depressing songs 24/7. Plus, the label company's threatening to drop me if I write another sad breakup song._

_What happened? Or should the question really be, WHY did everything happen? I don't understand a fraction of anything that happened that June, nor will I ever be able to comprehend why it was such a big deal. It's been a year, and I still can't escape it, and it's still just like it happened yesterday. So why is it so hard to move on? Why won't you __let__ me move on? _

_I don't hate you, even though sometimes I hate myself for not hating you. It doesn't make any sense as to why I can't hate you; after all of this, it should be relatively easy. I only wish I could rewind time, and walked away that moment I ran into you at camp. I wish you guys had just stayed back in New Jersey. I wish a lot of things. It would have saved so much pain and trouble. Things would be so much different. _

_Sometimes, I just want to pick up the phone and call you, and apologize and fix this, but it's my head that knows I can't. I'll never be able to again. And it hurts so _damn_ bad (not that you give a crap). Too many things have happened, too much has been said, and everything's different now. Once upon a time, I might have been able to save our relationship with a phone call, but not now. You made you choice, and now I've got to stick with mine. Even if sometimes I don't want too. _

_When I think back, it isn't even clear exactly what caused us to stop talking. I guess our relationship just slowly died. And in a way, I kind of wish we'd had a real fight, or at least been able to say goodbye to each other. Maybe that would make it easier to move on, or at least I can keep trying to manipulate myself to believe that. Nothing would've been able to change our relationship; I guess it was just destined to fail from the start. And I'm not going to beg you to stay or to change your mind. You made you decision._

_And now, seeing you, it makes me wonder if I __ever__ meant anything to you, or if it was just all a game. A sick, twisted game to try to make yourselves better, to give yourselves a better reputation. Did you even mean anything you said? Because I certainly wasn't lying. Ever._

_Part of this is my fault (I'm not blaming you completely), I was so stupidly naïve, and I just needed someone so badly that I just went along with you. I never questioned why your mom was so nasty one moment and "nice" the other, or why your brother was such a jerk and then switched to a 180. So, yes, I blame myself. I was too stupid to see what was going on right in front of me, and you were just a part of their twisted evil games. _

_I threw out your pictures, I took your necklace off, and I tried to get over you. But if there's one thing I __can't__ do, it's __forget__. And I don't know why this has to continue on (it's been a YEAR) and why I can't just drop every memory we shared and hate you. Because that's what should have happened, instead of this long, drawn out insanity. _

_And I'm definitely not sure why I'm writing this. Because it won't change a thing. Everything will still be messed up like it is now. One stupid letter can't change a years' worth of problems. So why do I even bother; sitting here writing out something that won't do anything? It's worthless to even bother. You'll never change or understand how I'm feeling. So, eventually, _somehow_, I'm just going to have to let it go – find a way to hate you. _

_So, as I'm trying to find a way to close this letter, please, let me move on. Please, don't sit in front or to the side of us every time we're in the same room, don't continue to spread rumors about us, don't try to take every possible friend or happiness I have. Just move on and let things return to normal (I'm not saying that's going to happen, I don't even know what normal stands for anymore, but just try to fix things). Don't keep throwing me down every time I try to get back on my feet. I need to move on. _

_You really were my best friend/boyfriend,_

_M._

_P.S. Skillet – The Older I Get. Listen to it, learn it, live it._


	2. Enemies

**_A.N:_**I think I'm going to make this a series of letters, that I'll just update occasionally or whenever I write another one :P. I'll be basing each letter off one of LaPagie's 101 Prompts, and I'll add a song in the P.S. of every letter to describe how I'm feeling at the moment about the situation. It'll probably be really random and confusing, be warned, lol. Anyway, thank you guys for the response, and I'd like to dedicate this chapter to Cheese-X for really encouraging me with that really nice review, thank you!!

Since I wrote this with these other people in mind, it might not really match Camp Rock perfectly, just saying. :) Sorry about this really long author's note!

**Disclaimer:**Yeah, I never said I owned Camp Rock, did I now??? Haha. Enjoy guys :)

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Prompt #17- Enemies

_Shane,_

_I really don't care about you. Please get out of my life for good._

_It's such a strange way to start out a letter, don't you think? But I never was one to beat around the bush, was I now? I won't be phony like you. I'm not like you, I never was. _

_I'm just sitting here and thinking about how sadly pathetic you are. Really, when I look at you, all I can see is someone who has no life except for stalking me. And I laugh when I think about the fact I was just like you a year ago. It's horribly pathetic how important I am to you. I must be really special to, aren't I? Too bad it's not the same for you. _

_Note to you: If you send that little miss blonde bimbo after me again, it's you I'm coming after. I know exactly why she's being so obnoxious and following me around. It's obvious why _everyone_ is treating me like I'm committed some horrible crime. I'm really not this horrible person you portray me to be. _

_And once again, I laugh, because you guys fit here more than I ever could. I've been here my whole life, and I'll never fit. I'm not good enough for them, and I'm not medicated enough for you. So don't be surprised when I leave and never look back, because I won't miss a thing that's here. I could ditch you all in a second; could you let me go even for an instant? _

_And guess what? I have a best friend. Although you probably already know that; you surely followed us around enough. It's pathetically creepy, and it's highly unappreciated. I mean, don't you even have a life at all? And just for your info, she already knows you're crazy. Somehow, she remembered your name without me even reminding her, and she knew who was in your little group. And she knew who to avoid. So talking to her didn't help; it only made me love her more. Your stupid plan backfired, because this is one friend you can't have. Ever. _

_That thought makes me think about another thing that's going on. Why are you so determined to ruin me? I don't understand a second of your twisted mind, and I don't want to. Excuse me for not seeing how taking every person I talk to or am friends with or even _try_ to be nice to away is revenge. It's – once again – pathetic. And I mean really, really pathetic. How can you take my friends and turn them against me, and being plain rude the next time I see them? I don't understand it, because they won't even give me a chance to defend myself. They listen to your side of the story (of which is made up of lies, I'm sure. I know you too well to think you'd tell the truth. I've heard your stories before.) and then they jump to conclusions based solely off of that. They don't even let me explain what you've told them; they just shun me. It's so unfair that it's sickening. _

_Well, guess what? You guys can have them, you can have it all, because I'm sick and tired of caring. It's drained everything out of me and turned me into something I hate. So I'm picking myself up and leaving you all behind – have fun finding someone else to trash. I've heard your rumors, I'm sickened, and I'm done. And once you have no one better to gossip about, let's see how popular are. _

_And as much as I want to tell you to go and die somewhere, I'll be the bigger person and bite my tongue. Just like I'm always doing; standing back and letting you have the first punch. I really should just stand up and do the same thing you've done to me, but I can't. As much as I'd love to, it's really not like me. And doing anything would just prove your point. That's why I'm still here, after all. Because if I just up and leave, you'll have won, and you've already won way too many rounds, and it'll be my fault if you win this time. So once again I'll grin and bear it, and try not to kick you. _

_And you want to know something else that's pretty funny? I actually don't care... I can honestly say that I don't care when I see you stealing my friends or acting like you're not manipulative. I don't know how it happened, but I really, truly don't care. I look at you and feel like laughing at the fact I'm almost over you, and you're still on trying to cling onto me. Isn't it hilarious?_

_Well, as much as I'd love to stay and ramble more, I actually have a life – one that doesn't involve you . _

_You know, I really should send these stupid letters, it'd give you something new to talk about. You can keep talking about the letter for another year. _

_And now I'll just smirk and end, with just a remind that I really hate you,_

_Mitchie._

_P.S. Ashley Tisdale – It's Alright, It's Okay. Listen to it. _


End file.
